According to one major study, praying together was the most reliable factor (by far) for predicting long-term satisfying marriage. Regardless of all other issues, couples that prayed together had a divorce rate of just 1%.

How can this be?

Honest and sincere prayer is personal. We humbly lay our lives before the Lord. We share our hopes, our dreams, and our concerns. We humbly admit our failures and struggles. We confess sins, repent, and ask for forgiveness. We give thanks for things important to us. It is revealing. It is intimate.

Why should I let a spouse join me in prayer?

In united prayer, a couple shows oneness of purpose. They align priorities to work together. They make common requests for God's intervention.

When a spouse listens in on our prayer, they learn a lot about us. They see our current perspective on life. They hear our concerns. This knowledge may then be used for support and encouragement. They may become more sensitive and responsive to us.

Occasionally there are things that are difficult to say to our spouse. This may be a confession, a concern, or any number of things. We may be able to talk about these things in prayer. We regard the environment as safe. If the spouse "accidentally" overhears, it is almost as effective as saying it directly to them. As in other conversation, the emphasis should still be on love and building others up. After all, you are talking to the perfect symbol of love and forgiveness.

Oneness

In marriage, we are to have a unity of body, soul, and spirit. In joint prayer we allow the Holy Spirit to work in us and through us. Our soul, thoughts, and emotions are shared openly and honestly. We may have physical touch through holding hands or a hug. Physical oneness will become more meaningful as we become one in other areas. Praying together helps build the oneness and unity intended for marriage.

What else?

So you see that there are many benefits from praying together. It is powerful. In fact, it is so powerful that some counselors recommend that young people refrain from praying together with a date. It is that intimate.

Prayer also meets emotional need for openness, honesty, showing care, and demonstrating trust. It brings understanding. Few activities can match the benefits gained by a Christian couple praying together.

A Warning

With all of these benefits, there is a temptation to pursue prayer for selfish purposes. The marriage benefits we gain, valuable as they are, are secondary to the real purpose of prayer. They are "icing on the cake" so to speak.

Our main purpose in prayer is to draw closer to God. We offer praise and thanksgiving. We become reconciled (made right) to Him through confession and forgiveness. We make our requests and share our concerns. We ask that His will, His purposes be accomplished. We offer ourselves to be used to make that happen. We align our thoughts with God's thoughts. We align our actions with His ways. We build intimacy with the Father. And, in the process, we may build intimacy with our spouse as well.

Conclusion

Please consider daily prayer time with your spouse. If you wish, start out on a trial basis and see how it goes. Respectful, honest, intimate prayer may bring new intimacy to your marriage. May God bless you!

Notes:

1. Research study results are at http://www.completemarriages.com/page7.html

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